That Thin Gold Line
by Kylelover101
Summary: "There's a thin line separating you from us, remember that Curtis" I was rewarded one of his sly grins. Dally did say to get tough, I just never thought it would involve Curly Shepard.


**This is another one shot For The Outsiders, I own nothing from The Outsiders, please enjoy the story :) **

**-Kylelover101**

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**Title: That Thin Gold Line**

**Summary: "There's a thin line separating you from us, remember that Curtis" I was rewarded one of his sly grins. Dally did say to get tough, I just never thought it would involve Curly Shepard. **

**Rating: M Slash, Yaoi, Language**

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_Soda looked over my shoulder, normally I hated that, but I didn't mind it that much since It was only schoolwork._

_"What are you doing?" He asked._

_"Writing an assignment. We're supposed to write on what we want to be in life-"_

_Soda took my pencil writing: Happy._

_"Soda, I don't think you understand the curriculum."_

_"No. . . you don't understand life."_

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An ominous whistle came from behind me, followed by a chirp: "Curtis"

Turning around I saw the one and only Curly Shepard. Hair wild and greasy and a smirk on his smooth face. He wore ripped jeans and white converses, his plaid shirt was tucked in, but unbuttoned. I grew up knowing Curly, but only meeting him once or twice in my whole life. Once was a greeting, the second was playing chicken while we burnt our fingers, trying not to vomit from the scent of burning flesh.

This would be our third meeting.

"Oh, Hi, Curly," I smiled. "Tim said you were in Juvy for a little while."

"You lean some things from Dallas Winston, acting is one of them." He bit his lip when he saw my face fall from remembering Johnny and Dally's deaths. He gave a weak apology then handed me a cigarette.

"Where are you off to?" He asked.

"Well, it's almost seven-thirty, I'm going to school-"

"Yeah, I went there a while ago, got bored, so I left. Wanna' find Mark and go shoot some pool?" He smirked. I knew Darry would kill me if I didn't go, not to mention I had a test in Biology. When I said I couldn't he just shrugged and bid me a goodbye. His shoulders looked more broad and he grew muscles, he was at least an inch taller than I last saw him.

I couldn't help but think about him all day.

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_I was helping Soda make cake for tomorrow since we had run out this morning after breakfast, I noticed Soda taking more and more sugar out of the sugar bowl and putting it in the cake, I knew Soda loved sugar, but it was ridiculous with the amounts he used._

_"Soda," I laughed. "It think that's enough."_

_Soda shrugged. "Remember, Ponyboy, about Mom telling us how she went without sugar almost her whole childhood? We must embrace what we have now and take advantage of the situation." He kept putting more spoonful's into the mixing bowl._

_And Soda thought he was stupid._

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My fourth time meeting Curly Shepard was in my own house. He laid on the couch, sleeping with the TV still on. As surprised as I was to see him, I shook myself out of my daze and went to turn the TV off. My eyes adverted back to Curly, now that I got a closer look at him I could see his hair had been more tame with the amount of grease he had slicked back. I thought Soda looked like a Greek God sleeping, I was amazed on how Curly kicked him out of the ballpark. His angular jaw and firm nose, his eyelashes gently laid on his cheekbones.

I didn't notice how close I was to him until the phone rang and I jumped, hitting my hand against the firm part of the couch.

Rushing to answer the phone I didn't see the curly-haired greaser smirk.

The school was on the phone talking about how student testing was coming up, I slammed the phone down, I didn't care about that. When I came back Curly was gone and Darry came through the door.

It was an awkward eye-contact as he stood with his tool box, and belt.

"Uh, Hey Ponyboy." He gave a small smile in which I didn't return. I wouldn't say we were on a "no-talking-to-each other" policy, but it had been a lonely few days of trying to avoid him.

Simply because we had a fight.

So this was how things were now because Soda was-

"Hi."

"Uh, Ponyboy. I bought chicken. Want me to make it baked like you love it?"

Bribing me with food? I'm not a pregnant woman, nor am I a beggar. Still, I hadn't eaten since breakfast and it was almost dinner time.

"Sure."

Darry probably felt hopeful since he was grinning all night, even when I did nothing but watch TV with my book bag purposely out in the open for him to point out that I hadn't done any of my homework. I didn't even have to set the table (which was my normal chore) that dinner.

With the table set and dinner ready the two of us sat across from each other.

It felt further. A million miles further.

"So, how was school?" Darry asked.

"School was school. You get judged on what you wear, how you act, what your status is, if you're rich, poor, smart or stupid. Have a few anxiety attacks in the bathroom during that pleasant five minutes that you're crammed near your peers and the special people you hate in the hallways."

Darry just nodded slowly.

"I see. Well, at work today someone replaced the superglue and a guy put mayonnaise on a shingle. Ha, ha."

I poked at my food. I was still mad at Darry. Darry looked uncomfortable the rest of dinner, I hoped he was. I didn't eat much, saving it for later, I put it in the fridge. I ignored his helping hand for the dishes and the laundry and went to bed early that night.

As mad as I was, I cried myself to sleep that night.

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_"He's always picking at me, Soda. Never you or anyone else, it's just me!" I groaned, crossing my arms. Soda sat next to me on the porch after one of me and Darry's fights. He was yelling at me for letting my grade drop to a 'C' and I yelled right back. Soda came home early, thank God._

_Soda just smiled sadly._

_"I wish Darry would yell at me." _

_I was confused. Soda patted my head, smiling a bitter sweet, sad smile. _

_"We have high hopes for you, Ponyboy. Don't fail us."_

_I understood what he meant, but it was too late._

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I met Curly Shepard the fifth time the next day, school had gotten out and Two-bit and I went to the Dingo. He sat in the back with a few other greasers, loudly cursing, imitating the waitresses and waiters and starting trouble. I had seen him long enough to count as staring.

"Two Cokes, darling." Two-bit winked, but the blonde just scoffed, walking away.

Two-bit must have seen me because he slugged me in the shoulder.

"Ponyboy, you ain't thinking about going over there, are ya?" He asked.

"No," I lied. "Why do you care?"

"Because I promised Soda and Darry I'd watch after you-"

"Well when they're both dead then you can keep that promise!" I didn't mean to hiss, or even act like a brat for that moment. I guessed deep down I knew this was puberty and hormones were high, but at the moment any authority aimed towards me would be ignored. I wanted what I wanted, so I'll get what I want.

I shivered when I realized how close to Dallas I sounded.

Two-bit looked shocked as I left the booth to walk towards Curly and the other Greasers.

I smiled brightly, holding my hands behind my back. "Hello."

I could see Curly smirk, but the other two greasers just laughed at me. I immediately felt embarrassed and slightly ashamed. Feeling my cheeks glow hot, I went to walk away when someone grabbed my arms.

"Naw, naw. Sit, Curtis. Take a load off." He smiled.

I bit my bottom lip, looking back at Two-bit who shook his head slowly. He looked extremly angry, something I never knew could happen; he looked as mad as he did when he yelled at Johnny's mom in the hospital months ago. I sighed, sitting in the booth. When I went to look back at Two-bit, he had left, slamming the Dingo's front door.

"What's his problem?" Curly asked.

I shrugged.

"Anyway, Ponyboy, this is Mark Jennings and Bryon Douglas. They're dickwads I use when I need something. I don't normally hang out with them." Curly turned to smile at me and Mark blew his straw wrapped at him.

"Whatever," Bryon rolled his eyes. "Curly, we're not really letting him hang out with us, are we? I mean, he doesn't even look tough."

Great, another Steve Randle. I went to roll my eyes when Curly took my defense.

"He's the kid who killed that soc a few months ago, him and some Cade kid." Curly whispered. I really wished people would stop talking about that. "Ponyboy" was once a name my teachers and peers looked at me strange asking, "Is that your real name?" Now it's "Ponyboy" the guy who killed the Soc.

Bryon's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Bryon, this guy is more than just a regular hood, he's tuff!" Mark smirked at me.

Swallowing my pride and shame I smiled.

"Yup . . . That's me."

Oh God; Forgive me, Johnny and Dallas.

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"Ponyboy! Where have you been?!"

I guess he had a right to be mad, it was nearly thee in the morning.

"I was-"

"Oh, where you sleeping in the lot again?" It was that snyde-I-Know-It-All tone of voice that made me snap.

"Shut Up about that, Darry! Shut up!"

"Don't you ever talk to me like that, Ponyboy Curtis. You're in thin ice after what Two-bit told me! Curly Shepard, Ponyboy? You stay away from Tim and Curly!"

"You don't care if I'm near them when we're in a rumble!" I pointed out."That's just deplorable, Darry!"

"I said, don't mouth off to me, little-man!"

"Don't treat me as if I'm some child, Darry!" I hated this confined, emotional cage Darry kept me in. Treating me as if I were a little kid, rather a fourteen year old.

"I see no damn difference with the way you're acting!" His face was red and I could see anger tendons on the sides of his neck and head pop out. What I did see but failed to care about were the dark circles under his eyes.

"Now get your ass in bed, you're going to school tomorrow!"

I don't know why it irritated me. I honestly don't know why.

"No. . . "

He turned around.

"Excuse me?"

". . . No." I folded my arms. "I'm not going to bed."

I was tired and I bit my cheeks from yawning, but since Darry told me to do it, automatically my brain said no, as did my hormones.

Darry came closer to me, out noses almost touching.

"I don't think you have an option, Ponyboy Michael Curtis." He slowly breathed.

Glory, I shouldn't have said what came next, but I did.

"I don't think I care, Darrel Shayne Curtis."

Never in my life had I been spanked, I had seen Darry and Soda, but I was "the baby" "the good-boy" "the littlest" so I avoided those like the plague. But tonight it happened. Darry pulled me over to the couch where he whipped my ass hard.

The worst part about it was I could see a picture of Soda hanging on the wall. His eyes pierced me and I felt worthless.

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Still ignoring Darry's rule about seeing Curly Shepard, the past few weeks had been consisting of skipping school to smoke with Curly, play Pool with Curly, shoplift with Curly, hot-wire and drive around with Curly. Everything and anything, all of my days consisted of being with Curly Shepard. The more I was around Curly the more Darry and I argued. Curly opened my eyes to an exciting, illegal and fascinating world that was right under my nose. I couldn't believe how much fun train-hopping, Pool-shooting, fights and cutting class could be.

I felt like I was a true Greaser. Not just some poor kid who greased his hair and occasionally carried a blade.

On the twelfth day of my reunion of meeting Curly Shepard, Curly had asked if I was going to the homecoming dance. I didn't like dances much, the girls ignored you and the Socs prowled around. But I said 'yes' since Curly was going. I didn't go home that day or the day after that, pretty soon, I hadn't been home in nearly three weeks.. My first day not going home after school (or in my case, skipping classes) felt weird, but I guess it was because my normal schedule was changing.

In fact, my lifestyle was changing.

Curly and I crashed at his place since his folks were out of town, Tim was across town at a future fight and Angela was getting ready for the dance in her room. Angela was annoying and trashy, so I avoided her. I knew why Curly wanted to know why I was going to the dance, Curly needed help bringing in the booze he and Mark were serving out in the parking lot. I was told by Two-bit himself to never start drinking; well, I hadn't seen Two-bit in days and he wasn't the boss of me.

I gulped red-cup after red-cup.

Being drunk was kind of funny, you knew you were drunk, but you did nothing about it. You let yourself become a goofball while your buddies laughed at you. I didn't know how long Mark, Bryon and his girl Cathy, Curly, Angela and other greasers and myself were outside, but I do remember not stepping one foot in the gym where the dance was being held.

"Hey! What are you kids doing?!" A scream came from the field.

I was too busy prancing around, out of my mind to realize it was a teacher with two cops. Bryon picked up Cathy, carrying her away as everyone else besides Curly ran off. Curly just gave him the bird, walking casually towards me.

"Damn Curtis, you're wasted," Curly had laughed, dragging me to the Mustang he stole. "Let's get ya' out of here."

I mumbled nonsense as Curly just chuckled, taking me back to his place.

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On the night of the thirtieth day I met Curly, we shared a kiss.

I had never felt any attractions towards men, I barley liked girls. But my lips and his met each other.

I became an adult that night, I believe.

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_"Now, remember Ponyboy. When you find someone who you truly care about, I'm not saying like you care about your books or your love for track, but someone who you can't stand to live without, who you can't go a day without thinking about. Someone who you think about when you wake up and dream about at night. When you find that special someone, you never let them go." _

_I was only twelve back then and Soda fourteen. But since Soda was older, he automatically knew everything. _

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"Curly?" I called when I woke up to an empty room. Sheets were tangled around me and the sunlight peeked in from the windows. I looked around the house, dressed in a large dress shirt that was obviously Curly's. I was all alone in The Shepard house.

The alcohol kicked in and I found myself throwing up every content in my stomach into the toilet. I didn't know why I felt so scared, but the loneliness was freaking me out as I was all alone throwing up. From the depths of my heart I wanted Darry-no, better yet, I wanted Soda to come in and rub my back, whispering in hushed tones of how worried he was of me, of how he was going t o make me soup and cuddle with me. Promising he'd make me feel better in no time.

I gulped, tasting the reeking bile.

I wanted Darry to do that too.

I couldn't find any paper or a pen to leave a note, and the Shepard's didn't have an answering machine. I would have to find Curly later to tell him I went home, staggering, limping, in his overly-large dress shirt and my ripped black pants.

"D-Darry?" I called out when I had reached my home I hadn't seen in, what felt like, forever.

I wasn't given an answer and I felt tears fall from my eyes. I bawled in the doorway of my house which was a constant reminder of how empty it was. My only comfort was the cigarette smoke that lingered around the sunlight that reflected pictures of past, glorious days of when my father would come home, swinging my mother around in his big, strong arms; When my mother would sneak into my room at night when she thought I was sleeping to kiss me goodnight, when Darry was the coolest big brother who taught me football and wasn't the hard-ass he was now. Then there's Soda. Soda didn't change from when he was in the photos much, but at least he was alive then.

"S-Soda." I bawled.

Curly left me, I wasn't going to ignore the facts. I had drooled over him like some brainless-teenage girl, I allowed him to tempt me into doing illegal actions, skipping school and rebelling towards Darry-

No. Rebelling was my fault. That was all me.

I'm nothing but a spoiled brat who cries too much.

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_"Oh, Ponyboy. My sweet Pony." Soda said, wrapping his arms around me. I couldn't recognize him with his hair shaved, wearing his Army uniform. He grinned at me, even though I was bawling. _

_"You be good now, get good grades, watch sunsets and smile. For God-sakes smile, Ponyboy." He kissed my forehead, brushing back the greasy bangs. When he turned to look at me and Darry once again, he grinned, saluted, and hopped in the truck that would take him away._

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"Ponyboy?"

I didn't hear him at first.

"Pony. . . "

I didn't even want to open my eyes.

"Oh, Ponyboy." He let out a small laugh as I felt my weight pulled off from the ground, carried around slowly and tenderly. I couldn't tell if it was Darry, or if this was somehow, some way Sodapop. The same arms that carried me off the floor and to bed, kept their arms around me so the nightmares wouldn't harm me tonight.

Although, if it was Darry. . . I wouldn't push him away.

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_The first time I had ever been jumped was when I was thirteen. I snuck through the back door by the garage and basement. I couldn't use the side door in the kitchen, Mom was home and she'd freak out seeing my cuts and black eye. And I wasn't going to waltz through the front where I had a chance of being spotted too. I had krept to the bathroom but when I opened the door, Sodapop was shaving._

_He turned, not saying a word._

_I could see the pain in his eyes as we stood staring at each other. When he wasn't stunned anymore, his arms had wrapped around me._

_"I. . . I failed." He whispered. The shaving cream was being dissolved by the tears he shed and the guilt plagued around us for days on end. _

_I was never kept out of his sight since he was taken away to Vietnam. _

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_._

When I woke up Darry was there.

He wasn't mad at me, just sad.

I was too.

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On the thirty-seventh day I saw Curly Shepard, it was one month after I straightened everything out at school, I wasn't getting as good of grades as I used to, but I was passing my classes and I wouldn't be held back for my stunt I pulled with Curly. I was walking home after track practice and I had a good view of the sunset. There stood Curly leaning against the chain-linked fence as if he were waiting for me. Before he could speak, I walked quickly right pass him.

"Hey! I was talking to you!" He yelled.

I turned, "And I was walking past you, your point?"

I would have been scared of him, especially since he had pinned me against the fence and his eyes narrowed. "Where've you been? Haven't seen you since the night you unleashed your inner drunk-whore"

I ignored him, trying to walk away. He came running up to me, pushing me against the fence.

"Don't you forget something, Ponyboy Curtis," He growled. "There's a thin line separating you from us, remember that Curtis."

I knew what line he talked about, the line that separed me from harsh greasers. Good from bad, misunderstood, to hood. I dipped my foot over the line once and once was enough.

I let out an open-smirk. ". . . Only if I cross that line."

I pushed him off me and started to walk away.

That was my last day I ever saw Curly, I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the thirty-six days I've known him.

Still, thirty-six days was enough to last me a lifetime.

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_Ponyboy had cried himself to sleep. It was my last night in Tulsa before leaving tomorrow. I held Ponyboy's now sleeping body in my arms, kissing his forehead and above his eyebrow. _

_I heard the door open slightly. I smiled sadly._

_"Come in Darry," I softly spoke. Footsteps, then the bed sank just a bit. He was sitting at the edge, facing away from me. _

_I wonder what guilt he felt, he couldn't even look at me. _

_"I. . . I'm so sorry, Sodapop."_

_It was Darry initially who was supposed to go to war. But, since he was Ponyboy's guardian the state was keeping him here, keeping him safe. _

_"Darry. . . Someone had to go-"_

_"Someone else's brother. Not mine."_

_I smiled sadly, stroking Ponyboy's hair. "Okay. . . But you know me. I'll always put others before myself." _

_Darry looked back at me, just slightly so I could see the sadness in his eyes. "Call me selfish, but for once I just want a tragedy to happen to someone else, haven't we had enough?"_

_I knew he was talking about Mom, Dad, Dallas and Johnny. I nodded. I understood clearly._

_"Darry, look at me. I'm a high-school drop out without a job anymore." My beloved job at the DX laid off it's workers because the company went under. _

_"What would you be helping me with by letting yourself be a target, Sodapop?" Darry was crying. Superman was crying. _

_I didn't reply. "He's still just a baby, Darry." I was talking about Ponyboy, how innocent he looked sleeping. "Please, don't be too hard on him."_

_Darry turned away and continued sitting on the bed. We stayed like that until morning. _

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**-Kylelover101.**


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